Sylvia of Neverland

Introducing......Michael Darling

2008-09-13T19:53:00.000-07:00

MICHAEL: The youngest Darling child, Michael would like to be an Indian.

Back From The Dream

2008-09-13T19:22:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had those very poignant dreams that were heavy laden with imagery, but that were so easily masked you knew in an instant what each symbolic gesture, color, presence, object or smell was trying to communicate to your conscious mind?

I had one of those recently.

Funny, I never knew someone I admire and respect implicitly would be standing in front of me with tan cordoroy trousers and a grey plaid shirt with his hair mussed, a booger hanging out his nose and I think his fly down. But it became evident that he was challenging me to see if I would have the courage to confront what wasn't right, and acknowledge it head on (apply directly to the forehead)and quit trying to spin, as my deceased father-in-law would say, "chicken poo into chicken salad" (this is a family blog, I endeavor to keep it clean).

That's what it comes down to, I guess. Courage. So now, the chicken metaphor takes a new turn.

Looking back, I'm glad I'm still lost on that dream with the flying acrobatic U-Haul with Van Halen playing in the back.

3WW

2007-10-31T16:56:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday. Each week, I will post three (or more) words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. I'll also attempt to write something using the same words.

Leave a comment if you participate. Many fun and interesting people might visit your blog.

This week's words are:
Phone
Stumbled
Windy

The phone rings
Questions asked
Answers given

Acceptance

Sometimes

The phone rings
Answers given
Questions asked
Questions follow

As if Answers
Stumble to find
their mate

The phone rings
Too many Answers
Unspoken Questions

Eeriness

The phone rings
Answers rush

Sparks swirling about
In windy confusion
illuminating dark questions

Chasing fear

Answering

Life....Tinker Style

2007-10-27T03:11:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been 2 weeks since we found out Tinker was on the way, and I still just can't get my mind around this.

I have had my mind wrapped up in a few other things. Like worry for my sister and here family, and my other sister and her family, and 2 plays, and this great big, holy cow idea that could change health care and save billions of dollars in waste and reach out to uninsured families. I've been working on said idea for months, but haven't been able to say a word until it was copyrighted. And that truly kills me. I can't keep a secret to save my life. I hate secrets. And this one had me just bursting.

I presented the idea to great big insurance company yesterday. They have found it quite intriguing, so that means more work, and networking, research, development. And I have 6 months to do this. But if I'm right, holy cow.

Tinker has been relatively quiet during this time and has allowed me to continue my fevered pace at work, although my workouts have been suffering as kiddo prefers sleep and really hates being active in the early morning, except on Saturdays, when my sleep in is filled with "Play mommy" promptings and me writing at 5:30am. I've eaten Chinese 4 times this week, one day, twice. Hot and sour soup is a favorite. I am lucky though, at least there are vegetables. With Wendy and Peter it was mashed taytas and gravy, baked with cheese/broccoli, ice cream, Wendy was tuna on toast, Peter, greasy bacon cheeseburgers. Tinker likes soups, and if it has to be greasy (like yesterday) I've managed to sub chicken for hamburger. I had a grilled chicken sandwich with bacon, pepperjack, mushrooms and tomatoes. Oh, did I mention the cheese fries? I was able to have a cup of soup and salad for dinner (with half a steak and 5 bites of a loaded baked potato.)

I worked so hard to lose 65 pounds this year, I look and feel better than I have in years, and now I'm starting to not lose, and even gain a little. I don't like that. I'm struggling with the "it's a baby, you need to be ok with this" thing, because for the past 13 yrs, there hasn't been a baby.

My doctor teased me, said it was twins. I can't stop dreaming about that. We'll find out in a couple weeks for sure how many are in there. It's the same day as the opening night of the musical, so that'll be a really big day.

I don't even own "a" burp cloth. No hand-me-downs, and now I have to figure out where the home gym is going, because that's gonna be the nursery.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful. And delighted. But I am still so shocked I can't believe it. We turned the corner, remember? You did it with me 2 yrs ago when we couldn't handle the heartbreak of infertility. My mom's first words "I told you so. See I said the moment you stopped trying and worrying about it". I hate it when the baby agrees with my mom.

So, what have you been up to? Updates requested.

New Player

2007-10-16T08:01:00.000-07:00

Stage right you'll notice a new player...Tinker.

That's right Lost Boys, Fairies, Pirates, Indians, and Crocodiles...

I'm pregnant.

Whoa.

If Lori Knew...

2007-10-13T08:02:00.001-07:00

If Lori knew, Mr. Hawthorne,
How you treat your wife

Would she accept your consoling?
Would she want to be a reason
You twist the knife
In Your Beloved's Heart?

While she is being shattered emotionally
By her true love
Would she want to know
You are the same "man"?

That you could do equal harm
And have done so?

What are your chances now,
Mr. Hawthorne,
Of you getting your secret wish?

Mr.Barrie agrees...and insisted I post this drafted thought.

Leanne's 3WW

2007-10-10T16:46:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday. Each week, Bone will post three (or more) words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. I'll also attempt to write something using the same words.

Leave a comment if you participate. Many fun and interesting people might visit your blog.

This week's words are:
Initial
Knock
Weather

Tribute to Leane Wildermuth, Artist by Nature

I just happened by her place one day. I had been following a string of blogs starting with my sister, Scone. I happened to see a comment from MommaK that rang true with me so that I thought we might be kindred spirits, a modern day Anne Shirley and her beloved Diana of the Lake of Shining Waters. To my surprise, my initial view of MommaK's place was an amazing design complete with intricate and delicate details and amazing color choices. It was the second week of the famed Thursday 13 meme, and I was thoroughly intrigued. I pressed on through the blogosphere at mere dial-up speeds (hey, that's the most you get with back-country service. Of course, if I wanted it to go faster all I had to do was chew on some aluminum foil in a thunderstorm).

As I embarked on my journey that became "Leanne- Artist Worship" as well as a regular Thirteener (before the website, thank you very much)I appreciated her sharing her sketches and then finished products with us. And then a change in the weather brought with it a busyness I have scarce escaped. I had to let go of the Thirteen blogroll because of a cyberstalker, moved hither and yon, deleted my blog, moved my blog, started another (it fell into the swamp)and then renamed the blog (it burned to the ground, fell over and then sank into the swamp) but Leanne would always knock out a note on the email, asking if everything was ok, checking in every once in a while to see if I was back. I lurked for a few months, and then a health crisis and other emotional issues demanded my full attention and I had to take my leave.

Reborn, like a Phoenix from the ashes, I have returned better. I feel better, am healthier emotionally and physically. And Leanne, fellow mid-westerner, amazing artist and web designer (Check out her designs, seriously people. I'd have one myself already...just need to budget for my own .com first and there are many things ahead of that desire)

So Gorgeous Design Artist Leanne... Here's to you.

Everyone go see her and tell her I sent ya. Then let me know you went.

Mean People Suck. So do Stupid People.

2007-10-08T18:36:00.000-07:00

Who agrees?

Tell me your latest brush with the mean or stupid. How did you handle it? Did you want to handle it differently later? Did you think of the perfect comeback right away or hours later?

Did you use the words "Jerk Store"?

Best story wins a tribute post for 3WW

3WW

2007-10-03T18:02:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday. Each week, BONE will post three (or more) words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. I'll also attempt to write something using the same words.

Leave a comment if you participate. Many fun and interesting people might visit your blog.

This week's words are:
Feather
Misplaced
Useless

The theme today....Children's song in the style of Weird Al.

Yankee Doodle went to town
Upon his useless pony
Misplaced the feather in his cap
And Shouted...Mony Mony !

Come On! Come On!

I say yeah! Yeah!

I Wish I Could Ask

2007-09-29T14:17:00.000-07:00

I wonder what it is that he needs to be able to feel good again. I wish that whatever it was, I could make it happen. I wish I could just pick up the phone and talk to him. I wish I could. I wish I could ask what created this expanse in his heart that is just tearing everyone apart with worry and heartache. I wish I could make it better. I wish I had the answers.

If you stumble here, please know I'm thinking about you and miss you. I want to help you and wish I could take away your hurt. I am your friend, and will always be here for you. No matter how bad it is. You can trust me. I will not let you down.

3WW- A New Beginning

2007-09-26T16:57:00.000-07:00

From My Dear Friend Bone:

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday. Each week, I will post three (or more) words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. I'll also attempt to write something using the same words.

Leave a comment if you participate. Many fun and interesting people might visit your blog.

This week's words are:
Caught
Eager
Perfume

"Caught you by surprise"

"Why yes, you did, Sylvia."

"Eager to see what comes of it?"

"Why yes, I am Sylvia"

The perfume of light lavender wafted effortlessly on the autumn breeze.

"Am I ready?"

"Why yes.... I am Sylvia"

For Grandma

2007-09-19T18:26:00.000-07:00

The joy we share
As we tarry there

No other has ever known.

God be with you till we meet again.

Closing Doors..

2007-05-11T08:24:00.000-07:00

I haven't written for a while trying to make sense out of some things that have happened in my life. Again changes are coming and I don't quite know how to feel about them...other than hysterical and anxious tied up with trying to go a few steps into the dark even when I feel the pain all around me.

We will be closing our business. Another in a long line of struggles, we just have no more to give and can't hold on any longer. We are also facing some scary health things, and continue hoping all will be well. But even if it isn't, there we are.

Thank you for understanding, but it's time I left Neverland behind and got to work. Maybe someday, I'll catch a glimpse and recapture the happiness of losing myself in writing. But for now, there are chores, children, and immediate need.

3WW #4

2007-03-04T17:58:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday.Each week, I will post three (or more) random words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. This is a writing exercise. It doesn't have to be perfect. The idea is to let your mind wander and write what it will. I'll also attempt to write something using the same three words.Leave a comment if you participate.

This week's words are:
Tile
Scarce
Lieu

"Decorating can be such a bore" Elaine thought as she looked through samples of Mexican tile, each one as bland as the next. When she started this project she had a sure vision of what her house would become and everything had gone well in the beginning. Somewhere along in the middle however, the dream turned nightmare as each choice seemed to carry people's lives in the balance, as if a hue of yellow would disrupt nature's grand design. Elaine, now settling for a neutral greenish brown for her kitchen floors turned her attention to the upholstery. As she picked up what seemed to be a miniature Library of Congress edition of swatches, she wondered what had happened to her original plan. This wasn't the way it was supposed to turn out. "I thought I did everything right." she sulked, feeling as dejected as the chartreuse sateen she was certain would never be chosen by anyone, for anything.

Her mind drifted to a place where her design was alive with anticipation of the transition into reality. Everyone likes to have their dreams come true, right? So why did her dream exact a pound of flesh every time she made progress? Why was a consequence or price demanded for each minor success in her life? She worked hard, with passion, courage and conviction, and yet couldn't help feeling like the real song of her heart would always meet with some muffling, some distortion. Just as she would never find the true blue twill for the ottoman, and would need to settle for a royal or midnight hue in lieu of what she really wanted. So she felt that her life would never really be in order. Yes, it would be close enough to make her happy, but still, a tiny piece would feel out of sorts, if only the smallest bit, in this new reality she had embraced so completely and still loved with all of her heart.

Scarce had she made the resolution to choose the closest form of perfection, than she discovered the color she had imagined was real. It would require yet more sacrifice. More, it seemed, than she thought she had in her to give. There would be numerous trades and finagles involved in securing this "thing" but she wanted it. Her heart had been set on it from the moment she dreamed of her life as an adult when she was only a schoolgirl. It would be much easier to go with a close enough "simulation" of her dream. But each time Elaine saw it in her home, in her life, she would know it wasn't really her heart's desire. Good enough, yes, but not real.

"Life is just too short," Elaine explained,"not to have your heart's desire." And with that, she went to work.

3WW #3

2007-02-21T18:04:00.000-08:00

3WW #2

2007-02-14T11:37:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday.Each week, Bone will post three (or more) random words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. This is a writing exercise. It doesn't have to be perfect. The idea is to let your mind wander and write what it will. I'll also attempt to write something using the same three words.Be sure to leave a comment if you participate.

This week's words are:
Carriage
Silent
Haste

His carriage was aristocratic and proud, and at the same time gentle and seemly. He brought to mind that careless summer she spent in seclusion studying the nuances of her identity. She thought of him so often, but forced the memories from her mind with the reality of her station. His smile was warm and as he came toward her she realized he hadn't recognized her.

She had a choice to make. Her heart cried out to greet him and glance into his eyes to see if their silent communication would stir his heart into remembrance of that time. Her head, the more practical lady, assured her that nothing good would happen that would endure. He was destined for greatness, but could not attain his station with her at his side. Together, their destiny would be a different one from the one his upbringing had prepared him for all of his life. She knew he loved her, but she couldn't allow him to give up on his destiny, even though with all of her heart, she longed to be at his side.

The darkness of the gentleman who accompanied her love reminded her of that stark reality. For his own good and the greater good of her country, she turned and walked away, her heart shattering into a million tiny pieces bound up by the fact that far greater good would come of his leadership and strength than the good that would come as simply her husband.

A touch to her shoulder startled her as she hurried along the corridor to the sanctuary her studio had become in the years following those few precious months at his side. She turned to face the man she loved and feared in the same heartbeat. With a glance she knew she had not been a foolish school girl in love with an unreachable star. He loved her too. Had she made her decision in haste? He assured her that his station was nothing if she were not at his side. She was the one who had taught him how to really follow his passions, no matter what society, or family, or friends said. She taught him how a someone who was born not belonging could find it. He had been different all of his life with this destiny planned out before he was even born. Yet, this is where he belonged, and nothing would change it. He couldn't fulfill his destiny if in fact she remained elusive to him. She had made him. He needed her. And he knew it.

Of Happiness and Blue Water

2007-02-12T11:39:00.000-08:00

I arrived at work early the other day, so prior to my daily duties, I took a minute in the employee's restroom to destatic my hair and silk pants, and to of course, do what is normally done in places such as these. I was taken aback as I realized I got the fresh stall, blue water intact. Oh, how I love to be the first to use a freshly cleaned stall, much the same way as sleeping in a freshly made bed or using a towel fresh from the dryer. Somehow, I felt whisked away to one of those commercials where two women, often best friends, sisters, or mother/daughter are discussing freshness. The symbolic blue reminded me of salty ocean breezes and sweet tropical scents. Even though it was only a spritz of Tidy-Bowl, and laden with sanitizing disinfectants for which I am grateful, just the color was a vacation from the mundane. I felt princess-like and graceful, in direct defiance of my fly-away hair and fresh zit.

"It's going to be a good day", I thought. "It isn't snowing, and I got the blue water."

Three Word Wednesday #1

2007-02-07T19:42:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday.Each week, I will post three (or more) random words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. This is a writing exercise. It doesn't have to be perfect. The idea is to let your mind wander and write what it will. I'll also attempt to write something using the same three words.Be sure to leave a comment if you participate.This week's words are:

Drum
Secrecy
Ante

"The ante has been upped"

She thought. She had to be good. Better than good, she had to shine.

The drum sounded in her heart and anxiously her resolve dominated her urge to shrink to the comfortable silence she had been accustomed to in recent months.
In one awkward movement, fumbling over her gown and nearly ripping the delicate lace trim she had been admiring only a few moments earlier as she dressed for this gala event, she sighed heavily, yet carefully, half piteously for ther nerves and half for the sake of gaining air in her next big breath. Nicole took her place on the grand staircase, centering herself under the chandelier.

The orchestra began. Maestro cued and from the far reaches of her soul, the melody of her heart filled the immense hall leaving barely everyone speechless. To the delight of the crowd, this fresh face had actual talent, as opposed to the countless prima donnas that had afflicted their ears in the months that preceded the one last chance for this company, for the arts at large, and for Nicole.

Deep in her heart, her troubled past faded further and further into the background as if a bit of painted scenery, long forgotten and discarded by a careless propmaster. Her heart gladdened, and her tone grew richer, warmer with every crescendo. She allowed herself to be swept up in the music and to be carried away on the strength of the symphony all around her.

Standing unnoticed in the background was a stern man. He had appeared from nowhere and seemed to be a critic. But something about the way he looked at her made her shudder visibly during her aria. Could it be? No, she hadn't thought of him in years, and wouldn't dare mention him to anyone she now knew. She must maintain the secrecy of those days, those special moments. They were sacred to her. To him.

She sounded her final strain and the theatre erupted in applause. Shouts of "Brava! Bravissima!" could be heard for what seemed like an eternity. If only this feeling could last.

Nunsense

2007-02-04T06:35:00.000-08:00

Ok, advice givers.

I was asked Friday to direct the community theatre production of Nunsense. While the show is hilarious, and I would love the opportunity to grow artisticly that way, I'm not sure a)that I have the time or b) this is the right vehicle.

You see, there are a few jokes that make me uncomfortable (yes, the nuns tell a few off color jokes in this show...Rue McClanahan played Mother Superior on Broadway). Could I just change them? Or should I not do the show?

I am not a Catholic, but have relatives that are. They think it would be a hoot. What do you think?

Growing Up

2007-02-03T15:45:00.000-08:00

I've always been a believer in fairytales. Always. Even the moments I denied believing, I had hoped that they were real. It kept me sane.

Growing up, the noise of my childhood seemed to scream the contrary with every breath. But I withstood, I don't know how or why, the howling winds that seemed to diminish the hope that true happiness existed, that true love could be found, or that a soul could find true belonging.

I imagine that the cruel realities that touched our family, or our town, or our ancestors had filtered down, and shaded the sunlight of hope. Living is hard, sometimes a struggle nigh to heartbreak. Although I didn't experience the heartbreak of those who had been indeed broken, I felt the consequences as everywhere I turned there seemed to be no redemption from an arduous and exhausting life experience. I was often called a Polyanna, or naive for still believing life wouldn't always be a big pile of crap, but instead tried to look beyond the current pile which sometimes was up to my knees that buckled to the earth under the strain.

But there were moments in my life that gave me hope. And so, for those times, I fed that belief that my Neverland is real, the dream-like joy is attainable. I have had occasion to feel the full affect of sunlight on my face, an acceptance and promise of eternal happiness.

So, yes, I do believe in Neverland. I invite you to join me as I journey through this time, stretching my experiences, growing as a writer and artist, and feeding on an internal place that brings me joy.

If you do read this and judge me, please think about what I am trying to say, vs what it means to you. Like analyzing poetry, it isn't always the literal meaning that describes my heart.